I don’t really mind being alone.
Nobody will hurt me this way.
But it just gets, well, lonely
Being alone sucks, but crying over someone who doesn’t want you sucks more.
I’m done with this.
I’ll be fine and better than before.
I’m just looking back a few years… I’ve changed so much.
I almost did a 180.
But now I’m going back to where I was..
except this time I don’t have my dogs, which were the most important things to me.
I’m not sleeping around.
and I’m not happy.
and I never go out or anything.
Everything that means so much to me is just being torn from me.
I just. I can’t handle much more.
It’s exhausting acting like I’m fine and like I’m not hurting.
It never used to be this hard.
I need to build up my fucking shield again.
This time, nobody will be able to break it down.
I’m fucking tired of being broken.
I’m just so done with hoping that I deserve to be loved and to be happy.
Nobody is going to want to help fix me now.
If you didn’t think it was worth fixing it..
I don’t think anyone else would.
So now I’m alone.
i wish you wanted me,
as much as i want you;
and it’s my fault,
that wish won’t come true.